I have been pondering life and my struggles. I feel as thou there is some kind of major dead line that is in place that I have no idea what time it is or what it is even about. The guilt and worry just build but yet there is nothing to be guilty about or much to worry about. Trying to find the right balance is very difficult. These are real daily struggles and to ad depression with it. The combo is mind blowing. Trying to figure out why this happens is something that I think about a lot. I know I am not alone but it sure does feel it sometimes.
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It’s not in life we get dealt a good hand my brother it’s the ability to play a bad hand well.
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well said @Yoshi
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Not sure what your dealing with right now bro but I know the feeling I had a nasty split with baby momma and I went to a dark place myself for a while which caused more problems with my ex wife (not baby mama)
All I can say is take it one day at a time and try to find the positive in your life and focus on that
Also don’t waste energy on the things that are out of your control except them and move on
Focus on the things you can change
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you are right brother focus on things that are changeable!
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@Smokin_ernie I’ll be in prayer for you my friend, but sometimes we don’t have to understand the Why, we need to learn to just survive it But think about this, sometimes our troubles is preparation and purposed for our training. If you ever need to talk don’t hesitate my friendfriend, I’ll be here for you Sir, I love you man and God Bless. I have to try and rest before work, been up all night storm watching and studying, and reading 
on how to change my Roth and IRA into Monumental Gold currency before the big calaspe, but I gotta get a few hours of sleep before work this evening. But if you respond to this I’ll read it when I wake up and respond my friend.
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Don’t feel alone, there are a lot of us in the same position, dealing with these issues. Many of us are here to grow our own medicine to combat that very thing.
Not only do you have helpers in your growing here, but we are also understanding of your position and are willing to listen. Best of luck brother.
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Thank you! I appreciate it. Just being able to write things out and get different opinions and the ways other look at life is very helpful.
thanks @TxGrowman it means a lot!
If you are learning and growing that is all that matters. Forgive yourself for the past only if you are learning and growing and changing from it.
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Well I try not to live with regret and really don’t have any. It is the growing and learning that is becoming difficult. It is a slow process and each time I reach out I do learn and grow a little bit more.
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Life can be as beautiful as Rose 
bush and the aroma can be so relaxing, but out of the reality of the Rose bush we cannot enjoy it totally without the repercussions of the thorns, so in order to have one portions of life we have to learn and balance thee other as well 
.
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You should live life with out regrets brother
Even when we make a bad decision as long as we learn from it We grow as people
The key is learning from our mistakes my friend
And the growing is the easy part bud
We will all help you succeed there 
@Smokin_ernie 
CB
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@Smokin_ernie if you want to grow a plant out from seed to harvest the easiest way possible I have a soil recipe that will grow your plant from start to finish without any liquid fertilizers and only pH water at 6.8 with seaweed organic extract. Get a bag of Fox Farm fertilizer 5-8-4 or Dr.Earth 5-7-3 either one will work, with Fox Farm Ocean Forest or Promix Mycorrhizal in the white bail, earth worm casting, perlite, and Mykos. Put your pot size of soil in a garbage bag than add 3 full cups of the 5-8-4 or 5-7-3 , than one full cup of earth worm castings, with 6 cups of perlite and the about half package of Mykos and mix it up really good than put that in you pot and place your seedling in there after it germinate and root, after you transplant it water with the seaweed extract pH at 6.8 and that will grow your plant from start to finish and you want have to worry about the mixing and measuring nutrients to burn your plants, veg them for two weeks top it and let it recover and grow new nodes out to the first set of fan leaves on the new tops and put the plant in flower and just water with pH seaweed extract at 6.8 and you’ll have a good 1-3 ounces depending on your light intensity.
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Man that statement couldn’t be any truer! Just wanted to thank you for posting it.