Joke of the day!

A man says:

“If you want to see who loves you more, your dog or your wife, lock them both in the car trunk for 30 minutes and see who is still happy to see you after.”


Lil Johnny was outside playing in the road ditch when up came the postman, "Lil Johnny what cha doing?
I’m mixing mud and sh7t
Postman, we’ll what on earth are you making?
Jon, A postman!
Oooooooh you wait right there Lil Johnny I’m going to fetch the sheriff!
Well while the postman was off getting the sheriff here comes the milk man.
Lil Johnny what cha doing?
Jon- I’m mixing mud and shi8
Well what are you making?

I’m making a milkman!
Oh man did it pass the milkman off. Lil Johnny I’m going to get the sheriff!
Well about 30 min. Later her they all came.
The sheriff said Lil Johnny what are you doing?
I’m mixing mud and s7it
And the sheriff said and let me guess your making a sheriff right!
Lil Johnny looked up with big old eyes and a smile and said
Lord no I ain’t got enough shi8


Why do birds , sing in the morning ?

Because they don’t have to go to fn work.


So, I went into a store today to buy ammunition. When I got to the register to pay, the woman said: “strip down facing forward.” I thought, damn this place takes gun control way beyond the normal. But, I needed the ammo so I complied. After the screaming and alarms stopped I realized she meant my debit card.
I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere…


Here’s that little boy again lol

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny says, “I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?” “Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.”



LOL. Little Jonny is awesome!

My G/F and I were feeling really Horny yesterday. Eventually we couldn’t resist, the urge to do it was so strong! It just overcame us and we started having sex over the Chest Freezer. I don’t think it’s fair we’re banned from EVERY Branch of the Supermarket now though!

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old lady guy to the Dr.for chest pains. after finding out that she has a heart issue he puts her on a male hormone. couple weeks later she comes in for a heck up and the dr asks how she is feeling. the lady replies great, but im having an issue…im growing hair in weird places. well thats normal. the Dr asks, where is the hair growing? The lady replies…On My BALLS!

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Do you speak English?
Abdul Aziz.
Three to five times a day.
No, no…I mean male or female?
Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
Holy cow!
Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
But isn’t that hostile?
Horse style, doggy style, any style!
Oh dear!
No, no! Deer run too fast…


Why don’t Lutherans go to orgies?
Too many awkward thank you cards!


Do you know what a walrus and tupperware have in common?
There both looking for a tight seal.


Hahaha haha :joy:

Homer & Ethel were having problems in the bedroom. Homer talked to Doc Cider about it. The next day Joe stopped by to see Homer. When he pulled up he saw Homer doing a striptease in front of his new John Deere and hollered,

“Homer WHAT are you doing?” Homer looked up and told him about him & Ethel.

Homer said, “When I talked to ole Doc Cider, he said I need to do something sexy to attract her!”

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